Two.

Two. It’s a very simple number, yet for me it has so many meanings. It is:

  • The number of times I thought I was miscarrying (one I did, the second pregnancy is still holding on)
  • The number of children I will soon have
  • The approximate number of weeks away we are from meeting our little dude
  • the age that our daughter will soon be

I can’t believe it. It’s been two years. When I started this blog, I did it to heal and to try and help me make sense of pregnancy loss.  It helped a lot. I’m not the best at keeping up with it lately (or my other blog for that matter), but please know that it’s still on my mind. I still pray for those suffering loss. I still remember what it was like. Two is the number of living children I will soon (fingers crossed) have as I feel little dude kick away in my stomach.

In a lot of ways, my first miscarriage helped shape me. It helped me be more appreciative and more grateful. I never try to take any day for granted with my family as you never know how long you have. I pray we have 100 years together. My miscarriage made me be more appreciative for every moment with the sweet sweet girl that is the joy of our life.

It also made me appreciate this pregnancy more that it did not end in miscarriage. After my miscarriage three years ago now, I had an easy pregnancy. It really was. This one was turbulent.  I still remember crying hysterical grateful tears when they told me that I wasn’t miscarrying this time, it was just a subchorionic hemmatoma or sch. I am now almost 36 weeks pregnant with what appears to be a healthy baby boy.  I’ve had trips to labor and delivery for contractions and bleeding within the last few weeks and he still hangs on. He’s just a trouble maker, but my loss before made me so grateful for when things are right. It also made me more aware and not afraid to go get checked as having answers is so better than not knowing.

I’ve been told to keep it semi easy until Sunday to make sure little dude stays in until 37 weeks. It appears he’s following his sister’s path and will be here a few weeks early again.  I’m so unbelievably excited, scared, and nervous to meet him. Juggling two kids will be a challenge with minimal family support and the fact that I don’t like to ask for help – I just suffer through. We have some great friends that I’m hoping will help us when I’m struggling.

I didn’t start this blog with the intention of rambling about how grateful I am for my previous lessons learned from pregnancy issues. I meant to be blogging about my darling sweet two year old, so before I end this let’s do a bit about her.

What are her favorite foods? She will try almost everything. She loves condiments – especially ketchup, noodles, ice cream, yogurt, any kind of fruit (and I do mean any!). She had some steak and sushi recently again and she loved them both.

How many words does she say? Probably close to a thousand. She talks a TON. She’s constantly amazing us with words and short sentences. Her latest one is, “Coming Soon.” We think she picked it up from the movies she’s asked to watch. Best thing she says “I love you, Mommy” or “I love you, Daddy.”

Developmental wise? Right on track from the quizzes and ahead in some areas. She can count from 1-10 some days solo, other days with assistance. She knows her shapes and a lot of colors. She has fantastic fine and gross motor skills.  She runs, jumps, plays, and is an extremely active two year old. Switching her daycare was the best decision we ever made as watching her grow this past year is such a blessing. I’m constantly amazed by the social, educational, and emotional skills she’s learning.

Favorite activities?  Anything outside – bubbles, going to the park, playing on her new play structure outside, visiting Disney World, trains, and going on adventures with Mom and Dad.

How do we think she will adapt to big brother? To be determined. We don’t have any expectations for her. The next few months will be a big adjustment for all of us. She calls for baby brother and knows he’s in my tummy, but how she reacts when he gets home will be determined by her. I’m not trying to set any expectations so she can just be herself.

So the number two – you give me hope, and for that I am grateful. Praying for the next few months to go smoothly as we adjust and adapt and a safe healthy delivery and baby boy.

 

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About Finding Hope

Had a miscarriage in May 2014. Ended up having a D&C on Mother's Day 2014. Gave birth to an amazing little girl in June 2015. This blog helps deal with the grief of the first child and worries of motherhood and any future pregnancies.
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One Response to Two.

  1. Dani says:

    Hoping your son arrived safely and wishing blessings upon your family…

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