I’m not gonna lie – this is tougher than I thought it would be. My first born daughter was really easy. She had the occasional tantrum but overall she was REALLY easy. There were trying moments, but we were well rested and happy.
Now there are two of them. Her brother is a REALLY easy baby. He self soothes himself most days since birth (I have no idea how – trying not to jinx us). He’s easy going and also knew day and night from the start. He’s very chill. He took to breastfeeding easily. He’s been a dream.
She’s been tantruming which is totally acceptable and normal as this was a huge change to her world. She loves him. She tries to help so much with him. She cares for him and he saves most of his smiles for her. It’s REALLY cute watching them together.
However, things are tough at moments. I’m overtired. I don’t handle being exhausted well. I knew this with her now with having two kids I don’t get the extra rest. Also with kid number two – no one helps. Seriously, I have never felt so alone this maternity leave and journey into motherhood of two. Where did everyone go?
So as I sit here trying to deal with my hormones and adjusting to mom of two, there have been some really low moments. I’ve been struggling. I feel like I’m not good enough for them. I feel like I’m doing everything wrong. I feel like they deserve so much better. I worry that he’s going to have issues as he sits in the rock n play so much when she’s around. I can’t just jump to his cries if I’m helping her use the bathroom (as she decided she wanted to start potty training). Will letting him cry hurt him? I don’t want her to resent him or hate him. I need to tell her no at times though to feed him. It’s a struggle and at times I feel like I’m drowning. At other times, everything is okay.
It’s a daily change and sometimes the sweet moments between them make everything worth it.