It isn’t working…

My marriage isn’t working. We’re stuck in the same loop of fights. We’ve started fighting in front of the kids. I try to talk and he cuts me off. I try to explain how I’m feeling and he disagrees. I then don’t want to listen to him so I cut him off. We’re both to blame, and I’m tired. I’m tired of fighting. I’m tired of feeling like I’m giving 110% but I get 50% in return. I’m tired of him having secrets he posts online but then won’t tell me what he’s commenting on. I’m tired of doing 90% of the house work. I’m tired of being the one to remember everything.

But I have two amazing kids who only want me. I’m their favorite. I get extra snuggles and fun. I also get extra tantrums. I’m never giving them up. I could never not see them daily. So where does that leave me?

I’ve been reading lots of marriage and relationship books lately. They all say I can’t change him. I know I can only change me. We will have to see where that leads as I currently don’t know.

But I have two amazing kids. They are worth this.

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About Finding Hope

Had a miscarriage in May 2014. Ended up having a D&C on Mother's Day 2014. Gave birth to an amazing little girl in June 2015. This blog helps deal with the grief of the first child and worries of motherhood and any future pregnancies.
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One Response to It isn’t working…

  1. (hugs) I started to offer some advice, but you didn’t ask for it and I’m not sure you want it or if you’re just venting the feelings of the moment. Anyway, I’m new here so I’ll be around. You’re right it’s worth it.

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